A Vacation From Our Vacation

Hey everyone!  This is Julie.  Isabel, Rainy and I have all returned from our vacation from the boys.  Unfortunately, we are severely discombobulated and need a few days to get it together.  Just wanted to let you know, we WILL be back!!  :D  For now, here's Rainy and me in Florida.  Isabel hasn't downloaded her pictures yet.  She's trying to catch up on all the IT tickets that piled up while she was away.  :/

Love, Julie

My Vacation

I've decided I am going to take a vacation!  I don't know where I'm going yet, but I know I'm not going to be spending the next week with a bunch of smelly boys!  Yes, I still have an enormous amount of work to do, but I told my moms that I'll work remotely and be available via email and they said they were fine with that.  Thank God!  I'm about to have a nervous breakdown!  If Roku doesn't get its international accounts figured out, I MAY have to go to Costa Rica to help Grandma Christine load Netflix onto her TV.  However, since this is a trip I would have to take to work on something, it doesn't count as a vacation--isn't that great?!.

Haha, I just can't stop talking about work!  I hope the bus comes soon.  I can't wait to get going on my vacation!

-Isabel, IT Specialist

Don't forget to REBOOT!

Tribe Atherton State of the Union

This is Isabel.  We are not coming to you from Disney World, even though it looks like we are.  Nay, we are coming to you from our same old house on the eve of our moms ABANDONING US to go ride Space Mountain and get a wand from some jerk named Harry Potter.  As IT specialist of the house, it is my job to stay abreast of all the latest technology, so I'm using my PowerShop to make it LOOK like the rest of us are at Disney World, just so we can feel less depressed that we'll be freezing to death in Tennessee while Mom and Mama Rainy are galavanting around in the sunshine.

Now, let me tell you about the state of our house.  I have a headache.  Everyone is supposed to be writing on this blog, and so far at least 37% of our family is non-compliant.  To make matters worse, Bruce got up in the middle of the night last night and wrote some completely ridiculous post about chicken.  Good grief!  He makes it seem like we have nothing to do around here but think about food, and the truth is I haven't even eaten breakfast yet!  I'm up to my eyeballs with work and no one seems to care!  Also, my mom was supposed to get on here and explain the meaning behind Closet Wars, and so far she hasn't bothered!  What do you people have to say for yourself???  

 The moms are goin to Disney World??  How come no one told me??  I wanna go meet Mickey Mouse!

 Isabel, you have GOT to relax!  You are gonna give yourself a stroke!  Also, me and Hansel are sleepin, so keep it down.  Love, Simon

This new project I'm working on is very frustrating.  I don't have time for your silly blog.  -PA

 Isabel, this state of our union doesn't make me happy at all!  I want to go to Disney World!  Also, did anyone else have to get flea medicine this morning?  I'm concerned that it hasn't been cold enough this winter and the mosquitoes are going to be terrible in the spring.  We should just get in the bags and go to Florida.  

  I got my hair brushed this morning and I look AWESOME!  Love, the Bruce

 As I understand it, the moms are leaving us with Sage, who is a nice young man and will take really good care of us.  I don't think you should worry, Isabel.  Sometimes the moms need to go out of town.  My mom, for instance, is running in 5 races this next week and I'm very proud of her!!  Mama Julie is running in 2 of the races and then she's going to cheer for my mom.  I love my moms.  I hope they have a good time and I hope they don't worry, because we are going to take good care of the house while they are gone.  -Frankie Fitzgerald Atherton

 See what I have to deal with around here??  OMG, can I come on vacation too??  I need a nap!  

-Isabel, IT Specialist

Don't forget to REBOOT!

I Like Chicken!

So I was just about to turn in for the evening when all of the sudden, I started thinking about chicken! Chicken is great! You can roast it or grill it or fry it or whatever you want!

 Where I live, people like to put a bunch of spices on it--it's called "hot chicken" and that is NO LIE! One time I stole my mom's hot chicken and I thought my throat was on fire! Even worse, later on something ELSE was on fire and I vowed right then and there that I was going to become a more discriminatory dog!

Anyway, chicken tastes really good when it's not covered in acid! I love the soft meaty part AND I love crunching on bones! Some people say I could choke but I think there's worse ways to die. Sometimes I steal someone's chicken and I get in trouble for that but I don't care, 'cause I got the chicken!! Hahahaha!

 Sigh. I like chicken a LOT. Like A LOT a lot. Tonight, I'm pretty sure I'm going to dream about chicken.  I'm sleepy now. Gnight...

My name is Bruce, and I rock!

The Things I Dream About

Today, everyone left me alone for 2 seconds, which is my dream.  After I took a long nap and ate some kibbey, I decided to go to the garage.  You see, in the garage is my other dream--the scooter.  I dream of riding that scooter all over Nashville. I dream of taking it all the way to East Tennessee and riding The Tail of the Dragon.  I dream of the wind in my hair, the smell of pine trees in my nose--just me and the open road...

Unfortunately, I don't have my motorcycle license.  So sometimes, when everyone leaves me alone, I go in the garage and I sit on my scooter and I dream...

Goodnight, everyone.  Sweet dreams!

-Hansel (or whatever)

My Himalayan Adventure Part 2

Wow, Johnny Cash and I had a wonderful time the other night!!  We went down to the Boo Radley house to see if we could get in the window, and sure enough!  Toto the Tornado Dog left the back door cracked for us and we went in and played poker with him and his buddies til 3 am.  I was real, real tired after that night so I slept a lot and forgot all about my wonderful adventure I was tellin y'all about!

So where was I...oh right!  I was tellin y'all about how it's a bad idea to try to haul a bunch of cans of tuna half way round the world, next time order chinese, etc.  Now, it is true that my front fingers was amputated by some assholes that I'm goin to exact my revenge on sooner than later.  However, I have developed my back claws to compensate for what I am missin.  Here is a picture of me on one of the very steep rock climbs I had to do during my quest to conquer K2:

What I had to do was dig my entire front legs into the crevice of the rock, and use both my back claws to dig in, while at the same time usin my tail to counter balance.  Some people can call me handicapped if they want to, but they are assholes and they are wrong!  Notice how happy I am in my picture and not afraid of heights at all.  Thankfully, I am not like my mom, who gets vertigo standin on a step ladder.  At this point, as you can see, I was very, very high in the air.

My companions on this trip were very tough, but I was still the far superior climber.  A few of them started in right away with the "are we there yet?" song, while I just ambled along enjoyin the view.  By the time we started ice climbin, I had to hang back from where I could be and stop to encourage them.

Oh yeah, I remember this guy...his name was Arthur somethin and he almost didn't make it up that sheet of ice, had it not been for me leanin way over the edge to yell down on him that he could make it.  At some point further on, he turned around and went home.  You might say that me hangin around to encourage him only to have him quit later was a waste of time, but I'm a nice guy and this is just how I roll. 

After 3 to 5 long days of climbin, me and my friend Tomas finally summited K2.  We were real happy!!  Tomas is kind of a pretty boy and had our sherpa Karishnarnar take a bunch of pictures of him, even though he hadn't had a bath in quite some time and looked a little ripe, such as in the picture below.  However, I always take time for a bath and am also not so vain as to need to pose for pictures constantly.  As you can see, while Tomas is "modelin" I am simply lookin around at the beautiful scenery.

Oh Tomas.  Anyways, I stood on top of that wonderful mountain and thought all about what my life is about, and how awesome I am, and how lucky my moms are to have a guy like me around...All of the sudden, I realized I'd been away from home for quite some time!  I quickly ran down the mountain...

...and then spent one more night at base camp so I wouldn't suffer the effects of decompression sickness, then I went home!  My moms were all freaked out and they put a collar on me and everything.  I quickly went outside and ditched it, and then I came back to sleep in my mom's arms.  It was nice.  :)

Love, Simon

My Himalayan Adventure

So, last year I turned 5 years old and I thought I should do somethin nice to commemorate my awesomeness and whatnot. I had watched this movie called "K2" where Michael Biehn plays this jerk lawyer who is an awesome mountain climber and by the end of the movie he saves Matt Craven. That's a good thing 'cause even though he hasn't had much of a career, Matt Craven's a real cool guy and I would have been kind of sad if he had died at the end. Anyway their harrowin adventure was very inspirin to me and so I found me some people to tag along with and I went off to lands unknown.

I am here to tell you that it is very freakin cold in the mountains of Nepal and Pakistan!! If my fingers hadn't already been cut off by some aforementioned assholes, they surely would have frozen off! Luckily, Sherpas think cats are awesome, so anytime I got too cold they would carry me in a pile of warm blankies. This was a luxury not afforded to my fellow travelers--just like in the movie K2, the Sherpas were all too happy to demand more and more money to carry their crap up the hills. Sucks to be them, I say!

It took me a few days to get to base camp, where I then stayed and acclimated my lungs and took lots of baths. I was off my usual diet at this point as there are no squirrels on K2. The Sherpas did make me some awesome meals out of their lambs that they brought up, and the rest of the time I lived on the cans of tuna I stole out of my moms' pantry before I left. While the tuna was yummy, I do regret hauling such a heavy load half way 'round the world. Next time I'll probly just order Chinese or somethin'. I mean, China's right there! How convenient!

Oh crap! I forgot, my next door neighbor Johnny Cash and me are supposed to go out prowlin' so I'll have to tell y'all more of my story another time. Here's a picture of me for your viewin' pleasure, taken at base camp on K2.

Love, Simon