Simon's Fireside Chat

Dear Faithful Fans,

Today, I rode up to San Francisco, to where my wanderin hero Jack Kerouac spent some time when he was alive.  I think it is many a young cat's desire to roam the streets of North Beach, espoutin jazzy poetry and feelin the music and sense of wanderlust that propels us to the road.  

I've been doin a lot of thinkin about my life and how I ain't had an adventure like this in quite some time.  I was content in my home in Tampa, but then my buddy Peanut left, on account his girlfriend Allie had to go search out another pond to hunt in, seein as how some farmers thought her water was dirty and they killed the algae.  Allie had no more camouflage and she and Peanut headed to the Alligator Alley where no jerk farmers can mess with them.


I was lonely after my good buddy and his old lady left, so my mom said maybe I should go have me an adventure.  I wasn't even having fun harassin Mama Rainy, so I packed up my motorcycle and headed west.  (Well, first I went north 'cause you can't drive a motorcycle through the Gulf of Mexico.  Although maybe next time I head west I can ride me a shark to California, on account of a certain admirer who knows some sharks who can give me a ride...)

Sorry, I just can't tell you who I'm givin these here flowers to, y'all.  It's top secret!

It took me longer than I thought to reach California, but it was worth it, 'cause I had me one a them epiphanies when I crossed the river of my birth where it goes into the Gulf of Mexico.  I realized that the Mississippi herself was like my mama's birth canal--God rest her soul--and the Gulf of Mexico was my life, all wavy and tryin  to get back to my moms, but once I made it past the breakers, it was time to have my adventures I love so much. I sat on the banks and I won't say a tear wasn't shed, 'cause when you get you an epiphany like that, you cry!  You just ain't got no choice, really.

Of course, along the way to California, I ran into some of my family, also descendants on Grandpa Sanchez's side.  Some of them I had seen at our family reunion some years back, and it sure was good to see them and sleep in they's houses at night.  Even though I'm still young, the ground ain't all that comfortable to sleep on!  My cousin Carlos in New Mexico had him one a them Sleep Number beds for me to sleep in and I discovered my sleep number is 35, just like Lindsey Wagner, who was my mom's first crush when she was in that show on the TV called The Bionic Woman.  But she started in The Six Million Dollar Man, and I ain't gonna lie, I got me one a them boy crushes on Steve Austin. He's super tough!

Wow, they's both tough!

Anyways, here it is, almost midnight.  The stars is real pretty when they ain't obscured by fog.  I'm gettin sleepy, so I'm goin to sleep.  I'll tell y'all more about my adventure durin tomorrow's campfire time.

Love Simon