Saturday Morning Death March

OMG, I almost died today.  The moms keep looking at the computer and saying they need more points for their vitalities, so they decided to "do a 5k" this morning.  I don't know what the hell that is so I said, sure! I'll go!  'cause I'm a dog and I guess that makes me kind of a dumb ass.

Frankie and me put our necklaces on and got in the truck, and when the moms stopped, we were at the place in the picture I put up.  I found a map of it a few minutes ago, and this is what it looks like:

You guys probably think that's pretty funny, but it wasn't funny to be out there, let me tell you.  Frankie and I walked in the water and tried to mark our trail as much as we could in case we had a chance to escape, but pretty soon we ran out of pee.  I called a cab to meet me at various places too, but all that happened was this dude drove by on a golf cart and he almost ran me over--he sure didn't offer me a ride or any water. Jerk.

So this is the scene for like 41 years this morning:

I think this is the part where Frankie just disappeared from the whole planet.

Oh wait, there he is.  He's working on that super power still.

People on bikes are dicks.

Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk hell.

Oh yeah, and we weren't even supposed to BE in this part!  I told the moms and they just said "rules, schmules."  That's how they roll.  There coulda been snakes or killer alligators or anything waiting up there, we didn't know.

What the hell is that???

So here's the sign that said you aren't supposed to be on the road. But it was real confusing.  Are they really saying maybe they'll prosecute you? Like if they get around to it? Seems pretty casual to me...

 This was fun though!!!  We got to hang out with a horse!!  I even sniffed his nose and ate some of his grass.  He was cool.  He looked weird with that bag thingy on his head.  I guess he didn't want to see me die.  I kept telling the moms that really I'm like 70 years old in dog years and this is super elder abuse, but they laughed at me.  I couldn't believe it.  Laughed.

There's another horse.  He was going to get help, but it never came.

So anyways, at some point I got to meet a band of old ladies that thought I was somethin, and that kept me going for a little while.  You know how I love my Golden Girls.  And finally me and Frankie made it back to the truck and got to go home.  I drank about 3 gallons of water and laid on the tile to cool off.  My cats couldn't believe what we went through.  The moms said we should do this every weekend.  

Oh, come on...

Love,

The Bruce