Lookin for Peanut

I ain't got no kinda time to go into details, but basically I went campin with my Uncle Adam for a couple of days but I was missin Peanut too much so I borrowed me a plane and I'm goin back to Florida to look for my friend.  I'll keep y'all apprised of my goins on.  

Love Simon

More Words from the Campfire

Last night, after I had shaved off that itchy goatee and written in my blog, I laid in my tent and thought about my awesome life. Here I was, a few feet from my crackly campfire, and some 100 feet from the roarin and crashin Pacific Ocean. 

In my head, I asked myself, "Simon, can you be any luckier?" and after I thought about it, I could only reply, "no."

This mornin, I headed down to Monterey, old home to another one of my favorite writers, John Steinbeck.  Now, he wrote him some wonderful books, includin this one about a road trip he took with his dog, Charley.  I loved that

book and I love puppies. I even asked Frankie and Bruce if they wanted to come on this adventure with me, but Bruce was too itchy and Frankie's scared of motorcycles. I also asked my cousin Lily to come but she said she couldn't be that far away from her mom. Dang. I guess if I want to take a road trip with a puppy, I'll have to get me a poodle.

Anyways, I walked around the wharf and had me some fishies and an ice cream cone, and I basked in the sunshine.  I thought of a quote in another book I love by John Steinbeck, called Tortilla Flat. No, not the one that says "Here you play in the street, little chicken. Someday an automobile will run over you, and if it kills you, that will be the best thing that can happen. It may only break your leg or your wing. Then all your life you will drag along in misery. Life is too hard for you, little bird." 

When I read that passage the first time, I nearly gave up eatin chicken! But then Mama Rainy cruelly brought home a bucket of KFC, and next thing I knew, I was beggin for a piece. It was dang near involuntary, my cravin for the Colonel's 11 herbs and spices! That was a good supper that night.

Yum!!!!  Wait...is that right?  I'm so confused...

Now, I don't generally imbibe in the pleasures of alcohol, but today I got me one a them "rider bottles" of wine that my mom's friend used to drink on her long drive home from work every day and I wandered around the streets at the wharf like a real paisano.  I felt like I was in one of them John Steinbeck books, and it was wonderful!



Back here at the campfire, the sun is goin down. Back home in Florida, I am imaginin the nightly routine: Mama Rainy comes home first and takes off her pantalones, and then mom comes home and takes off her brassiere. They's gonna have KFC tonight because my writin is gonna make them crave it. Mama Rainy's gonna play her video game where she has to make burgers for a lot of people and my mom is gonna wonder why she don't just go down and work at the McDonald's if she really wants to be that stressed out.  She's gonna turn a light on and Mama Rainy's gonna turn it off.  They's gonna talk about their day and my brothers is gonna play outside til the lightnin starts. Then they's all gonna climb in our big bed and go to sleep.  My moms will both snore, Frankie will get too hot and get on the floor, and Ty Ty will steal Mama Rainy's pillow.  We's all happy at my house.

I will lay here in my tent and listen to the ocean and feel happy to be me. 

Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you my John Steinbeck quote that's not about the chickens! "The afternoon came down as imperceptibly as age comes to a happy man."

Love Simon

Simon's Fireside Chat

Dear Faithful Fans,

Today, I rode up to San Francisco, to where my wanderin hero Jack Kerouac spent some time when he was alive.  I think it is many a young cat's desire to roam the streets of North Beach, espoutin jazzy poetry and feelin the music and sense of wanderlust that propels us to the road.  

I've been doin a lot of thinkin about my life and how I ain't had an adventure like this in quite some time.  I was content in my home in Tampa, but then my buddy Peanut left, on account his girlfriend Allie had to go search out another pond to hunt in, seein as how some farmers thought her water was dirty and they killed the algae.  Allie had no more camouflage and she and Peanut headed to the Alligator Alley where no jerk farmers can mess with them.


I was lonely after my good buddy and his old lady left, so my mom said maybe I should go have me an adventure.  I wasn't even having fun harassin Mama Rainy, so I packed up my motorcycle and headed west.  (Well, first I went north 'cause you can't drive a motorcycle through the Gulf of Mexico.  Although maybe next time I head west I can ride me a shark to California, on account of a certain admirer who knows some sharks who can give me a ride...)

Sorry, I just can't tell you who I'm givin these here flowers to, y'all.  It's top secret!

It took me longer than I thought to reach California, but it was worth it, 'cause I had me one a them epiphanies when I crossed the river of my birth where it goes into the Gulf of Mexico.  I realized that the Mississippi herself was like my mama's birth canal--God rest her soul--and the Gulf of Mexico was my life, all wavy and tryin  to get back to my moms, but once I made it past the breakers, it was time to have my adventures I love so much. I sat on the banks and I won't say a tear wasn't shed, 'cause when you get you an epiphany like that, you cry!  You just ain't got no choice, really.

Of course, along the way to California, I ran into some of my family, also descendants on Grandpa Sanchez's side.  Some of them I had seen at our family reunion some years back, and it sure was good to see them and sleep in they's houses at night.  Even though I'm still young, the ground ain't all that comfortable to sleep on!  My cousin Carlos in New Mexico had him one a them Sleep Number beds for me to sleep in and I discovered my sleep number is 35, just like Lindsey Wagner, who was my mom's first crush when she was in that show on the TV called The Bionic Woman.  But she started in The Six Million Dollar Man, and I ain't gonna lie, I got me one a them boy crushes on Steve Austin. He's super tough!

Wow, they's both tough!

Anyways, here it is, almost midnight.  The stars is real pretty when they ain't obscured by fog.  I'm gettin sleepy, so I'm goin to sleep.  I'll tell y'all more about my adventure durin tomorrow's campfire time.

Love Simon

Time Away

Dear Faithful Fans,

It is durin this time that I have chosen to start readin me some Jack Kerouac and thusly have started a great and lonely journey. I am writin to you from Big Sur, California.  Just last night I was campin by the Pacific Ocean and readin my book.

It was Jack Kerouac who once said, "somethin good will come out of all things yet and will be golden and eternal, just like that." He was right. Just look at me.  I started out without much, and then some aforenamed assholes stole my man parts and fingers, and yet, now I am the awesomest member of Tribe Atherton, and I get to go on adventures whenever I want!  I never deny I have a good life.  But with the big move and all, I've been feelin outta sorts, so I thought I'd come out here and philosophize and whatnot.  

I'm havin so many deep thoughts I am givin myself a headache! I think I'll get back on my bike for now and do some more ridin. Don't forget me, as I will be back home soon. Maybe I'll write me a book while's I'm out here on the road.  You know, lost in the Great Abyss and whatnot.  Growin my brain and gettin my travelin feet some miles on them.  Discoverin what lies beyond...

Love

Simon Thaddeus Atherton

Hello To My New Friend I Hadn't Met Just Yet

Dear Amanda Cotton,

We hadn't met yet, but my name is Simon Thaddeus Atherton.  I know you can't wait to read all about me in this here blog, but basically I was born and then I crawled out the Mississippi River so I could have a life filled with adventures!  I have been all over the world doin all kinds of things.  My moms said you have too, and also you take pretty pictures, which is why I am introducin myself.  I heard you like to swim with sharks and I'm pretty sure you and me is gonna be best friends cause I also love to swim with folks that some people thinks is dangerous!  Take my friend Peanut.  Now Peanut is about as vicious as a teddy bear, but cause he's like 15 feet long and weighs about 400,000 pounds (yes, he needs to get him on a diet--I keep tellin him!) people thinks he's scary!  But Peanut and I go fishin with my other friend Ralph all the time.  I will say, when we go together, nobody fights us for the best fishin hole!  Hee!  Here's a picture of us this one time...

Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about how you have this awesome opportunity to take my likeness with your sharks!  I am very handsome, as you can see, and I would love to meet them sharks that act like Chihuahuas!  My friend Lily is a Chihuahua and she is awesome.  I can't wait til she comes to my house next weekend.  Lily can't wait neither, as you can see.  Maybe she could even come swimmin with us and then she could maybe meet her a new friend!

Let me know when you want to get started.  In addition to bein very handsome, I am also a wonderful story teller and I will tell you all about my Grandpa Sanchez and how he won the Mexican Revolution, as well as all the adventures I have been on!  I can't wait til we finally meet.

Love

Simon T. Atherton

The Freedom Train

Hello everybody!

Simon here.  Right at this very moment, there is a new guy campin out in my office for a couple a days.  His name is Tyson, and he just flew in from  somewheres in Florida, which is ironic, cause that's where I'm fixin to move to!  He says the weather is real nice down there and he doesn't know why I haven't left yet, because this is some terrible crap weather he ain't never seen before!  However, he did also say he doesn't care about the weather so much because he's just happy to be alive.  Just a short time ago, Tyson was in a terrible predicament where he was in a cage and these people was fixin to kill him just because they had too many cats in their shelter.  Dang.  Thankfully for Tyson, there's a wonderful superhero in Florida named Dorian Wagner who saved his life and got him a place to stay til she could find him a new home.

Turns out, Tyson's new home is in Maryville, Tennessee!  Of course, Dorian is so busy savin lives and such that she ain't got time to drive every cat she saves 'round the country to they's new houses, so she gets people to drive the cats as far as they can, and then someone else drives them some more, and so on until the cat gets to his new home.  And somehow, Tyson got REAL lucky, cause one a them people had them an airplane!  So Tyson got to fly to Tennessee today, and now he's hangin out in my office.  I don't mind sharin one bit.  Here's a couple a pictures of our new friend.  He's a real nice guy and I'm sure glad he's gonna be okay.

This is Tyson earlier today, flyin through the bright blue sky.  Boy, was he in for a shock when he got here to the ice and snow!

Here's Tyson, gettin some rest after his long journey.

Well, that's all for now.  I'll keep y'all appraised of the goins on.

Love,

Simon

HQ Relocation

Hey Everyone!

My moms said it's FINALLY okay to tell you guys that we are moving to Tampa, Florida!  I'm real real excited because it's gonna be sunny and I don't have to freeze to death when I go outside to sit by my swimming pool.  I'm so excited I used the Powershop to show you guys a picture of what it's going to look like at my new house.

My moms said we're leaving in the middle of March, and if it's still a sheet of ice outside, we'll even call for air support if that's what it takes to get out of this place.  

Don't worry, you guys, we'll still be on our blog.  And we'll miss all our friends in Tennessee but we hope they'll come visit us and also we can't wait to make new friends in Florida!  My brother already has his gator gang all picked out.  He says maybe Peanut will come up and get the truck out of the ditch so we can leave. He's calling him right now.

Okay, that's all for now.  I'm so excited!!!!!!!

Love,

Griffin