A Vacation From Our Vacation

Hey everyone!  This is Julie.  Isabel, Rainy and I have all returned from our vacation from the boys.  Unfortunately, we are severely discombobulated and need a few days to get it together.  Just wanted to let you know, we WILL be back!!  :D  For now, here's Rainy and me in Florida.  Isabel hasn't downloaded her pictures yet.  She's trying to catch up on all the IT tickets that piled up while she was away.  :/

Love, Julie

My Vacation

I've decided I am going to take a vacation!  I don't know where I'm going yet, but I know I'm not going to be spending the next week with a bunch of smelly boys!  Yes, I still have an enormous amount of work to do, but I told my moms that I'll work remotely and be available via email and they said they were fine with that.  Thank God!  I'm about to have a nervous breakdown!  If Roku doesn't get its international accounts figured out, I MAY have to go to Costa Rica to help Grandma Christine load Netflix onto her TV.  However, since this is a trip I would have to take to work on something, it doesn't count as a vacation--isn't that great?!.

Haha, I just can't stop talking about work!  I hope the bus comes soon.  I can't wait to get going on my vacation!

-Isabel, IT Specialist

Don't forget to REBOOT!

Tribe Atherton State of the Union

This is Isabel.  We are not coming to you from Disney World, even though it looks like we are.  Nay, we are coming to you from our same old house on the eve of our moms ABANDONING US to go ride Space Mountain and get a wand from some jerk named Harry Potter.  As IT specialist of the house, it is my job to stay abreast of all the latest technology, so I'm using my PowerShop to make it LOOK like the rest of us are at Disney World, just so we can feel less depressed that we'll be freezing to death in Tennessee while Mom and Mama Rainy are galavanting around in the sunshine.

Now, let me tell you about the state of our house.  I have a headache.  Everyone is supposed to be writing on this blog, and so far at least 37% of our family is non-compliant.  To make matters worse, Bruce got up in the middle of the night last night and wrote some completely ridiculous post about chicken.  Good grief!  He makes it seem like we have nothing to do around here but think about food, and the truth is I haven't even eaten breakfast yet!  I'm up to my eyeballs with work and no one seems to care!  Also, my mom was supposed to get on here and explain the meaning behind Closet Wars, and so far she hasn't bothered!  What do you people have to say for yourself???  

 The moms are goin to Disney World??  How come no one told me??  I wanna go meet Mickey Mouse!

 Isabel, you have GOT to relax!  You are gonna give yourself a stroke!  Also, me and Hansel are sleepin, so keep it down.  Love, Simon

This new project I'm working on is very frustrating.  I don't have time for your silly blog.  -PA

 Isabel, this state of our union doesn't make me happy at all!  I want to go to Disney World!  Also, did anyone else have to get flea medicine this morning?  I'm concerned that it hasn't been cold enough this winter and the mosquitoes are going to be terrible in the spring.  We should just get in the bags and go to Florida.  

  I got my hair brushed this morning and I look AWESOME!  Love, the Bruce

 As I understand it, the moms are leaving us with Sage, who is a nice young man and will take really good care of us.  I don't think you should worry, Isabel.  Sometimes the moms need to go out of town.  My mom, for instance, is running in 5 races this next week and I'm very proud of her!!  Mama Julie is running in 2 of the races and then she's going to cheer for my mom.  I love my moms.  I hope they have a good time and I hope they don't worry, because we are going to take good care of the house while they are gone.  -Frankie Fitzgerald Atherton

 See what I have to deal with around here??  OMG, can I come on vacation too??  I need a nap!  

-Isabel, IT Specialist

Don't forget to REBOOT!

I Like Chicken!

So I was just about to turn in for the evening when all of the sudden, I started thinking about chicken! Chicken is great! You can roast it or grill it or fry it or whatever you want!

 Where I live, people like to put a bunch of spices on it--it's called "hot chicken" and that is NO LIE! One time I stole my mom's hot chicken and I thought my throat was on fire! Even worse, later on something ELSE was on fire and I vowed right then and there that I was going to become a more discriminatory dog!

Anyway, chicken tastes really good when it's not covered in acid! I love the soft meaty part AND I love crunching on bones! Some people say I could choke but I think there's worse ways to die. Sometimes I steal someone's chicken and I get in trouble for that but I don't care, 'cause I got the chicken!! Hahahaha!

 Sigh. I like chicken a LOT. Like A LOT a lot. Tonight, I'm pretty sure I'm going to dream about chicken.  I'm sleepy now. Gnight...

My name is Bruce, and I rock!

The Things I Dream About

Today, everyone left me alone for 2 seconds, which is my dream.  After I took a long nap and ate some kibbey, I decided to go to the garage.  You see, in the garage is my other dream--the scooter.  I dream of riding that scooter all over Nashville. I dream of taking it all the way to East Tennessee and riding The Tail of the Dragon.  I dream of the wind in my hair, the smell of pine trees in my nose--just me and the open road...

Unfortunately, I don't have my motorcycle license.  So sometimes, when everyone leaves me alone, I go in the garage and I sit on my scooter and I dream...

Goodnight, everyone.  Sweet dreams!

-Hansel (or whatever)

My Himalayan Adventure Part 2

Wow, Johnny Cash and I had a wonderful time the other night!!  We went down to the Boo Radley house to see if we could get in the window, and sure enough!  Toto the Tornado Dog left the back door cracked for us and we went in and played poker with him and his buddies til 3 am.  I was real, real tired after that night so I slept a lot and forgot all about my wonderful adventure I was tellin y'all about!

So where was I...oh right!  I was tellin y'all about how it's a bad idea to try to haul a bunch of cans of tuna half way round the world, next time order chinese, etc.  Now, it is true that my front fingers was amputated by some assholes that I'm goin to exact my revenge on sooner than later.  However, I have developed my back claws to compensate for what I am missin.  Here is a picture of me on one of the very steep rock climbs I had to do during my quest to conquer K2:

What I had to do was dig my entire front legs into the crevice of the rock, and use both my back claws to dig in, while at the same time usin my tail to counter balance.  Some people can call me handicapped if they want to, but they are assholes and they are wrong!  Notice how happy I am in my picture and not afraid of heights at all.  Thankfully, I am not like my mom, who gets vertigo standin on a step ladder.  At this point, as you can see, I was very, very high in the air.

My companions on this trip were very tough, but I was still the far superior climber.  A few of them started in right away with the "are we there yet?" song, while I just ambled along enjoyin the view.  By the time we started ice climbin, I had to hang back from where I could be and stop to encourage them.

Oh yeah, I remember this guy...his name was Arthur somethin and he almost didn't make it up that sheet of ice, had it not been for me leanin way over the edge to yell down on him that he could make it.  At some point further on, he turned around and went home.  You might say that me hangin around to encourage him only to have him quit later was a waste of time, but I'm a nice guy and this is just how I roll. 

After 3 to 5 long days of climbin, me and my friend Tomas finally summited K2.  We were real happy!!  Tomas is kind of a pretty boy and had our sherpa Karishnarnar take a bunch of pictures of him, even though he hadn't had a bath in quite some time and looked a little ripe, such as in the picture below.  However, I always take time for a bath and am also not so vain as to need to pose for pictures constantly.  As you can see, while Tomas is "modelin" I am simply lookin around at the beautiful scenery.

Oh Tomas.  Anyways, I stood on top of that wonderful mountain and thought all about what my life is about, and how awesome I am, and how lucky my moms are to have a guy like me around...All of the sudden, I realized I'd been away from home for quite some time!  I quickly ran down the mountain...

...and then spent one more night at base camp so I wouldn't suffer the effects of decompression sickness, then I went home!  My moms were all freaked out and they put a collar on me and everything.  I quickly went outside and ditched it, and then I came back to sleep in my mom's arms.  It was nice.  :)

Love, Simon

My Himalayan Adventure

So, last year I turned 5 years old and I thought I should do somethin nice to commemorate my awesomeness and whatnot. I had watched this movie called "K2" where Michael Biehn plays this jerk lawyer who is an awesome mountain climber and by the end of the movie he saves Matt Craven. That's a good thing 'cause even though he hasn't had much of a career, Matt Craven's a real cool guy and I would have been kind of sad if he had died at the end. Anyway their harrowin adventure was very inspirin to me and so I found me some people to tag along with and I went off to lands unknown.

I am here to tell you that it is very freakin cold in the mountains of Nepal and Pakistan!! If my fingers hadn't already been cut off by some aforementioned assholes, they surely would have frozen off! Luckily, Sherpas think cats are awesome, so anytime I got too cold they would carry me in a pile of warm blankies. This was a luxury not afforded to my fellow travelers--just like in the movie K2, the Sherpas were all too happy to demand more and more money to carry their crap up the hills. Sucks to be them, I say!

It took me a few days to get to base camp, where I then stayed and acclimated my lungs and took lots of baths. I was off my usual diet at this point as there are no squirrels on K2. The Sherpas did make me some awesome meals out of their lambs that they brought up, and the rest of the time I lived on the cans of tuna I stole out of my moms' pantry before I left. While the tuna was yummy, I do regret hauling such a heavy load half way 'round the world. Next time I'll probly just order Chinese or somethin'. I mean, China's right there! How convenient!

Oh crap! I forgot, my next door neighbor Johnny Cash and me are supposed to go out prowlin' so I'll have to tell y'all more of my story another time. Here's a picture of me for your viewin' pleasure, taken at base camp on K2.

Love, Simon

My Day So Far

So, this mornin I woke up, and I was happy.  It was warm outside and I went and ate me a squirrel.  Then I came back and I took a nap with my sister Isabel.  This is us after we woke up.

I really like my sister.  She might be grumpy and all, but we always eat our kibby together and I tell her all about my adventures from the time I crawled up out the Mississippi River until now, includin the time I spent in the Himalayas last year.  She loves my stories and I have a lot of them!  

I heard a rumor that my moms are goin out of town this weekend and I think I am also goin to go out of town.  There's good duck huntin at Reelfoot Lake, maybe I can catch me one and also a giant fish, which I will eat on the spot and not share with anyone!  I told Isabel she could come with me but she declined.  I guess she's got a lot of work to do.

Well, time for my 3 pm nappy.

Love, Simon

Ain't Nobody Got Time For This!

I can't believe I had to work on a SUNDAY!  Isn't that, like, a day of REST??  Certainly, there was a lot of resting around here today!  My mom and Mama Rainy took off with Frankie to go hiking and I got stuck with a boat load of IT tickets to deal with and a house full of boys who wanted to do nothing but sleep and interrupt my router mind meld by going in and out the cat window.  It was very disturbing.  I finally told Max to sit right under the window, because then Paco, Simon, Griffin and Hansel had to pick--in OR out, not both!  They like Max, but they still know it's probably not a good idea to walk on top of him. HA!  Max is my secret weapon, and yeah, he's big and dumb and slobbery, but he's kind of nice.  I don't tell him that, though--I just tell him where to go next and he does it!

Anyway, I was in the middle of defragging Mama Rainy's computer this afternoon and trying to find out if Grandma Christine's email had been truly hacked or was just being used to send spam about Viagra to everyone when I came across this video, and I thought it was the perfect way to express how I felt today!  I think maybe they were making fun of this woman, but the fire at her house wasn't a joke and neither was my workload!  It made me happy to know someone knew how I felt for a change and I danced.  :)

-Isabel, IT Specialist
"Don't forget to REBOOT!"

Frankie's Day Out

This is me and my moms on our hike today.  We went to Rock Island State Park and had a great time!  We went with a bunch of other women and this curly tall dog Pennington who was running around off his rope and being a giant show off but I behaved myself and ignored him.  I have a bad habit of taking off when I don't have my rope on, and my mom Rainy gets really upset so my days of exploring the countryside alone are kind of over.  I love my mom!  I don't want her to be upset.  Here's a picture of her.  She's real pretty.

So this morning, we woke up early and my moms had a big discussion about who was going to get to go on this trip today.  First it was just going to be me, but then Max was looking pitiful so Mama Julie was pushing for him to get to go too (she's such a sucker!) and then Mom said Bruce was the one who was really going to suffer not getting to go out that door with something tied around his neck, but then 3 big dogs is a lot to have in the truck with that big bag of clothes from Closet Wars, so my moms decided I was going to get to go, which I knew they would, because I always get to do the hiking when only one of us gets to go.  My mom and I go way back with the hiking.  So we got ready to go, but then as soon as Bruce saw my rope he decided he was going to go somewhere whether anyone liked it or not and he darted out the front door and played hide and seek with the moms for 20 minutes.  Bruce is kind of a dick.  

Once we finally got Bruce back, we got to leave, and then we stopped 4 times for no reason before we really got to go.  My moms do this when they hang around all the women.  They talk a lot, and stand around a lot.  That's how hiking was too, but we did get to hike a little bit and I had fun.  I especially had fun when I got to ride in the truck bed on the gravel road, which I never, ever get to do!  That was really something!  My moms took turns riding back there with me and my mom was real nervous, but I was fine just like Mama Julie said I would be and it was FUN!!  I want to do it again.  I pointed out about 55 houses my moms could buy on the way home from hiking where there are cows and horses and birds that I can chase, and some places even had creeks my brothers and I can swim in.  I don't think Isabel likes to swim, but she can swim too if she wants. 

We saw one thing that really confused me.  My mom said it was 2 baby bulls butting heads, but Mama Julie said it was a twin cow that was joined at the forehead and one head wanted to eat but the other one was on a diet.  That doesn't sound very fun at all.  I thought about why a baby cow would want to go on a diet for a long time while I took my nap in the back seat.  

We were gone for a long, long time today and I'm glad I get to be home with my family, even though I had a really fun day.  Oh and the best part is that that show off dog Pennington went too far down the road and he got in trouble with his moms so he had to put his rope on, but turns out his rope is a HARNESS which is even more embarrassing than a neck rope so I jogged ahead with my moms and smiled, because I showed him!  And that was awesome.  Here's another picture of me on my adventure today.  

I had a real good time.

Frankie Fitzgerald Atherton

The Tribe

This is a story of a lovely lady who was bringing up 3 very lovely boys...  Already, Casa de Tribe Atherton detours from the norm!

Back in 2010, Julie and Rainy were living as confirmed bachelorettes, their lives seemingly fulfilled by the 4 legged creatures who cared for them.  Then they met and got this crazy idea to get married and throw all of the 4 legged creatures and themselves into the same house.  That house is called Casa de Tribe Atherton, and it is a place of constant entertainment and hijinks that we just can't bare to spare the world from anymore!!  This is us:

Hi, my name is Paco and I am the elder tribe leader. I've been through a lot in 15 years.  I used to live in California, but then my mom Julie decided to move, and I spent 2500 miles pressed as tight as I could against the tail light of our hatchback.  She said we would be riding in style.  She was wrong.  This is one of the many lies I have been told in my life.  We bought a house in 2006, but we only lived there for 4 years when I was ripped from my home once again to live in this new house.  Now I have dogs. I also have my own door so I can go outside anytime I want, I like that.  My mom Rainy and I share a desk in our office.  Sometimes when I get frustrated on a project, I throw the mouse on the floor.  It makes me feel better.

Hi, I'm Frankie, and as you can see, I love my mom Rainy a whole lot.  She and I have been together since I was 6 months old.  I was living on the streets and when she brought me home I was really scared of everything.  Now I have my own security service and I guard my house and yard against all intruders.  Sometimes I get in trouble for my alerts, but I say, safety first!  I really like my brothers and sister. My favorite cat is Griffin.  I love my mom Julie too.  I really, really love my mom Rainy.  She looks just like an angel, see?

My name is Isabel.  I don't know why my brother Paco is the "tribe leader."  Who does he think he is?  We came out of the same litter, and I was probably even born first but my mom Julie doesn't know.  I control all the IT services in our house by doing mind meld with the router.  It's really quite effective.  If you have a computer problem, put in a ticket.  I'll get to it.  Anyway, I live with a house full of boys now.  I did before too but now it's worse.  Now I live with DOGS.  For 2 years, I've been getting used to these things.  Sometimes they can be useful, I guess, like when...ok, this one time, they did make my brother run away from me, and that was funny!  I don't know why I had to live my whole life with Paco.  Now that we're older, I guess I like him, but he still steals my cookies and that pisses me off.


Hey, I'm the Bruce!  Specifically, Bruce Lee Wayne Springsteen Atherton.  I'm the last guy to join the tribe but I'm 7 so I get to go before Max, which is awesome!  Don't get me wrong, I like Max.  I like to one up him a lot.  Some people think that makes me kind of a dick, but I don't care, I'm a happy guy!  I have an awesome super power too!  I can eat an entire chicken in 3 seconds flat and leave no crumbs!  Wanna know how?  Do ya?


Uh, hi!  My name is Griffin.  I'm a real, real nice guy.  My job is to love everyone and escort the ladies back and forth to the car.  I do a good job.  I always wanted to have a puppy, so I was real excited when I got to have 3 of them!!  My favorite dog is Frankie.  We're real good friends.  My papa Eddie raised me to be a nice guy, and that's who I am.  My mom Julie says Papa would be proud of me. I have a brother Simon who looks a lot like me, although we didn't have the same parents.  But Simon is kind of wild--I like him, but I'm not like my brother!

Hey, I'm Hansel...I think.  I've had so many names I'm not sure.  My mom Julie was taking care of me for some guy who never came back.  He called me Handsome because that was my name at the shelter, and Julie said that I should have a real name, so now I'm Hansel, I guess.  It doesn't matter because I don't come when I'm called anything.  I LOVE to be outside.  My moms call me the prettiest alley cat there is because I guess I'm some kind of cat that's kind of a big deal, but I'd rather be out playin in the ditches, man.  One time I didn't come inside for a week, and I was just fine!  Okay, probly I still come in to use the litter, but whatevs.  I've got good kibbey.  The dogs don't freak me out like they used to.


Hello, my name is Max!  I can look pretty vicious and stuff, but I just love you!!  Can you take me home?  I love my family but I'll go home with you!  I might have ADD, I dunno what that is but it sounds right.  Sometimes my job is to look big and scary, but I just can't do it very long.  I'm too nice.  I'd rather lick your face.  Everyone I meet is my friend, so far.  I like everyone in my house and I give the Bruce a run for his money (he's kind of a dick!) but I make sure I listen to Isabel when she tells me to do somethin.  She's little but she's not messing around!  People think that's funny.  I don't know why.

Well, finally!!!  I don't know why I always have to go last!  My moms think this is a funny picture of me because it looks like Santa's about to bash me in the head with a bat. The truth is, Santa and me are real tight and I got lots of good stuff for Christmas this year that no one even knows about, so take that Mom and Mama Rainy!  My name is Simon, and about 5 years ago I crawled right up out the Mississippi River and made my way to Nashville.  When my mom met me, I was trying to chew my way out of a cage where I had been falsely imprisoned after all my adventures.  My mom thought I was cute.  Cute!  I guess I can use the cute thing from time to time to get what I want, but I'm a hunter and an adventurer!  I've got a lot to say, and I couldn't wait anymore to say it.  I said, "Mom, you just gotta put up that blog for me!  I NEED it!!!  The people need to hear my voice, dang it!"  And so she did!  Finally!


This is my moms, Julie and Rainy.  They are crazy but maybe I like that about them, except that they're always messin with me and it makes me real mad.  Mama Rainy and I come up with all kinds of ideas and someday we're going to take over the whole planet.  My mom and I are pretty tight, we go way back.  And I like my family a lot, especially my brother Griffin.  He taught me how to climb trees, even though some assholes I got stuck with cut my front toes off and some people would say that makes me handicapped.  I'm still plottin my revenge.  Those dang people even called me Festus.  What is wrong with them??  I haven't figured it out.  I'm tryin to toughen up Max so we can ride into battle and cut off their fingers and see how they like it!  Maybe I'll give them a retarded name too...  Anyway, I have been everywhere, but it was before I met my moms.  Now I just kind of hang around my house.  The only real adventure I've been on lately was a nine day trek of the Himalayas, and when I got home my moms were all freaked out and then they thought I had gotten kidnapped or somethin, which just isn't true!  I tried to tell them, but they just made me wear this retarded collar so I wouldn't get "lost" again.  I ditched it.  I'm too cool and wild for a dang collar.

Love, Simon