My Himalayan Adventure Part 2

Wow, Johnny Cash and I had a wonderful time the other night!!  We went down to the Boo Radley house to see if we could get in the window, and sure enough!  Toto the Tornado Dog left the back door cracked for us and we went in and played poker with him and his buddies til 3 am.  I was real, real tired after that night so I slept a lot and forgot all about my wonderful adventure I was tellin y'all about!

So where was I...oh right!  I was tellin y'all about how it's a bad idea to try to haul a bunch of cans of tuna half way round the world, next time order chinese, etc.  Now, it is true that my front fingers was amputated by some assholes that I'm goin to exact my revenge on sooner than later.  However, I have developed my back claws to compensate for what I am missin.  Here is a picture of me on one of the very steep rock climbs I had to do during my quest to conquer K2:

What I had to do was dig my entire front legs into the crevice of the rock, and use both my back claws to dig in, while at the same time usin my tail to counter balance.  Some people can call me handicapped if they want to, but they are assholes and they are wrong!  Notice how happy I am in my picture and not afraid of heights at all.  Thankfully, I am not like my mom, who gets vertigo standin on a step ladder.  At this point, as you can see, I was very, very high in the air.

My companions on this trip were very tough, but I was still the far superior climber.  A few of them started in right away with the "are we there yet?" song, while I just ambled along enjoyin the view.  By the time we started ice climbin, I had to hang back from where I could be and stop to encourage them.

Oh yeah, I remember this guy...his name was Arthur somethin and he almost didn't make it up that sheet of ice, had it not been for me leanin way over the edge to yell down on him that he could make it.  At some point further on, he turned around and went home.  You might say that me hangin around to encourage him only to have him quit later was a waste of time, but I'm a nice guy and this is just how I roll. 

After 3 to 5 long days of climbin, me and my friend Tomas finally summited K2.  We were real happy!!  Tomas is kind of a pretty boy and had our sherpa Karishnarnar take a bunch of pictures of him, even though he hadn't had a bath in quite some time and looked a little ripe, such as in the picture below.  However, I always take time for a bath and am also not so vain as to need to pose for pictures constantly.  As you can see, while Tomas is "modelin" I am simply lookin around at the beautiful scenery.

Oh Tomas.  Anyways, I stood on top of that wonderful mountain and thought all about what my life is about, and how awesome I am, and how lucky my moms are to have a guy like me around...All of the sudden, I realized I'd been away from home for quite some time!  I quickly ran down the mountain...

...and then spent one more night at base camp so I wouldn't suffer the effects of decompression sickness, then I went home!  My moms were all freaked out and they put a collar on me and everything.  I quickly went outside and ditched it, and then I came back to sleep in my mom's arms.  It was nice.  :)

Love, Simon