My Himalayan Adventure

So, last year I turned 5 years old and I thought I should do somethin nice to commemorate my awesomeness and whatnot. I had watched this movie called "K2" where Michael Biehn plays this jerk lawyer who is an awesome mountain climber and by the end of the movie he saves Matt Craven. That's a good thing 'cause even though he hasn't had much of a career, Matt Craven's a real cool guy and I would have been kind of sad if he had died at the end. Anyway their harrowin adventure was very inspirin to me and so I found me some people to tag along with and I went off to lands unknown.

I am here to tell you that it is very freakin cold in the mountains of Nepal and Pakistan!! If my fingers hadn't already been cut off by some aforementioned assholes, they surely would have frozen off! Luckily, Sherpas think cats are awesome, so anytime I got too cold they would carry me in a pile of warm blankies. This was a luxury not afforded to my fellow travelers--just like in the movie K2, the Sherpas were all too happy to demand more and more money to carry their crap up the hills. Sucks to be them, I say!

It took me a few days to get to base camp, where I then stayed and acclimated my lungs and took lots of baths. I was off my usual diet at this point as there are no squirrels on K2. The Sherpas did make me some awesome meals out of their lambs that they brought up, and the rest of the time I lived on the cans of tuna I stole out of my moms' pantry before I left. While the tuna was yummy, I do regret hauling such a heavy load half way 'round the world. Next time I'll probly just order Chinese or somethin'. I mean, China's right there! How convenient!

Oh crap! I forgot, my next door neighbor Johnny Cash and me are supposed to go out prowlin' so I'll have to tell y'all more of my story another time. Here's a picture of me for your viewin' pleasure, taken at base camp on K2.

Love, Simon